


10 Music Oneshots

by fir8008



Category: Super Junior, Super Junior-M
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crack, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:36:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1251328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fir8008/pseuds/fir8008
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten Super Junior themed oneshots from the ipod shuffle challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Paparazzi - Kangmin

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to AsianFanfics on September 1, 2012.

“ _Life is a party; the more damage it causes the more it sells…_ ” – SNSD 

Kangin anxiously fingered the “take” button on his new camera. The man was partially hidden by a cluster of potted plants artfully placed beside his table. He set his camera down and took a sip of his coffee. He had been nursing the same once hot drink for at least half an hour. He had been told that the popular celebrity – what was his name again, oh yes, Sungmin – worked out at the gym across the street. It was Kangin’s first day working for some gossip magazine. He had been armed with a new, fancy camera that boasted some ridiculous zooming function and a high-speed lens. Kangin didn’t know anything about celebrities or digging up dirt on other people. He was just a poor photography student in desperate need of a job to pay his rent and his student loans. He didn’t like the idea of stalking people and potentially ruining their lives, but if it paid his necessary expenses he was just about ready to do anything.  


He perked up when the door to the gym opened and his target, Sungmin, stepped out. The star was wearing loose fitting workout clothes and no makeup. Sunglasses covered his eyes and a pink duffel bag was slung over his shoulder. Kangin carefully snapped a few pictures of the man. He imagined his boss throwing the pictures back at him, demanding to know what kind of news involving Sungmin in workout gear could be broken.  


Kangin watched Sungmin cross the street and make a beeline for the café. Oh no, Kangin thought, quickly replacing his “paparazzi” camera with his school camera. He held his breath watching the other man saunter into the outdoor part of the café and sit right across from him. “Hello,” Sungmin said smoothly. “Do you mind if I sit here? There don’t seem to be any free tables and you look friendly.”  


Kangin was surprised at the gentleness in Sungmin’s voice. He’d read the articles his employer had written about the star: “Sungmin, womanizer!” “Sungmin, liar!” “Sungmin, public embarrassment!” The man sitting in front of him didn’t seem to be any of those things.  


“Sure, you can sit here. I’m Kangin.”  


“Sung-joo,” Sungmin replied smoothly. His eyes found the camera on the table. “Are you a photographer?”  


“Not yet, I’m still a student.” Kangin felt himself blushing.  


Sungmin pushed his sunglasses up into his hair, revealing a pair of dark, foxy eyes. He turned those eyes on Kangin. “May I?” he asked, picking up the camera. Kangin nodded and Sungmin turned the camera on. As he clicked through the pictures he said, “You take very nice pictures. I know a guy at the zoo nearby; he was looking for someone to take pictures for their newsletters and promotions. I could mention you if you want. My friend is willing to pay a lot for the pictures.” Sungmin looked up at Kangin. “Would that interest you?”  


“You would really do that? That would be amazing.” Kangin dipped his head. “Thank you.”  


Sungmin smiled warmly. “It’s my pleasure. You seem like a nice person.” A pause. “Too nice to be working for gossip magazines.”  


Kangin’s jaw dropped.  


“Yes, I can tell. You get good at it after a while.” Sungmin slipped out of his seat and adjusted his sunglasses. “Well, thank you for letting me chat with you. I’ll talk to me friend; I hope you take up the offer. Bye, Kangin.”  


Kangin managed to wave. He picked up and called the magazine. “Editor? Hi, this is Kangin. I quit.”


	2. 99 Times - Hanchul

“ _You looked me in the eye and swore you weren’t lying…_ ” – Kate Voegele

Leeteuk stood in the doorway of Heechul’s now partially demolished room. The diva had stormed back into the dorm just a few minutes ago, and the angel leader knew something was wrong. His assumption was confirmed when Heechul slammed his door shut, let out a shriek of fury, and proceeded to break everything in his room. Leeteuk stood outside the door, listening to Heechul rage, waiting for the right moment to go in and calm his friend. He found it fifteen minutes later when the bangs and crashes stopped and were replaced with eerie silence. Leeteuk had pushed open the door and found Heechul in the fetal position on the floor, unmoving and silent.  


Leeteuk knelt by his friend and tapped his shoulder. “Heechul-ah, what’s wrong?”  


Heechul didn’t respond immediately. When he lifted his face from his knees Leeteuk gasped at the sight of Heechul’s dark eyes brimming with tears. “He lied to me Teukie…”  


Leeteuk pulled Heechul into his eyes and the younger let out a small wail. “He promised he loved me and he lied. How could he lie to me? I loved him Teukie. I loved him! He said he loved me too. How can you lie to someone like that? This hurts more than when he left.”  


Leeteuk gave Heechul a reassuring squeeze. “Oh Chullie, don’t cry. It’ll be okay. You have us. We’ll always love you, Chullie.”  


“How can he do this to me? How can he run around with some tramp when I’m here waiting for him? I’ve been waiting for so long, how could he do this to me? How can he just lie to me?” Heechul sniffled. “I want to hate him, but it’s so hard.”  


“You don’t have to hate him. You just have to move on.”  


Heechul nodded slowly. “That’s right. I don’t need Hannie. He’s the one missing out.” Heechul stood up, knocking Leeteuk off balance. “I am Kim Heechul. I was born to make people fall in love with me. One person isn’t going to stop me.” Hecchul tossed his hair haughtily. “I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to go out and forget all about him.”  


With a definitive air, Heechul dusted himself off and made for his door.  


“C-Chullie, aren’t you going to clean up this mess?” Leeteuk stuttered.  


Heechul gave his friend a confused look. “Why would I do _that?_ ”  


Leeteuk gaped as Heechul strode out of his room yelling, “Yah, who wants to go dancing?”  


The leader sighed as he began to pick up Heechul’s broken room for the umpteenth time. “I’m glad he’s feeling better but he really needs to learn responsibility…” Leeteuk muttered to himself. “What am I going to do with Kim Heechul?”


	3. Genetic Emancipation - Han Geng

_Years… It’s been so many years. Resenting the years, and my heredity…_

Han Geng sat by himself, in his room in China. Thoughts swam in his mind. He had made the decision to leave Super Junior. He had packed his bags and flown back to China, no doubt leaving turmoil and heartache in his wake. He’d left a message for Leeteuk alone, knowing the gentle leader would know the right words to tell the dongsaengs about Han Geng’s departure. 

_Oh, I have hated and loved you. I have hidden behind you. But I finally see…_

The memories Han Geng had were mixed. He had come to South Korea without knowing a word of Korean or having a single cent to his name. He was terrified. Those memories were daunting, but Han Geng had persevered; he had survived. He moved into the dorms and shared a room with Heechul. The effeminate man had shared so much with Han Geng: he taught Han Geng how to swear in Korean, they shared drinks, and Heechul even opened up his usually closed off heart to the Chinese man. Han Geng knew that his memories of the members, especially Heechul, and the bonds they formed would always be remembered fondly. His greatest regret would forever be leaving behind his fourteen brothers. But Han Geng refused to feel guilty about his departure. He knew the other members had seen his hardships, known of his illnesses, and been aware of the unfair treatment by their company. If they hadn’t known, the only explanation could be they were all blind, which they weren’t. 

_You I’ve mistaken for destiny but the truth is my legacy is not up to my genes…_

Han Geng stood up to look outside of his window, taking in the view of his hometown. He had missed it so much. Being able to wake up to the smell of his mother’s cooking, being able to sit and speak in his native tongue to his father, being able to take a day off to regain his health… these were all priceless luxuries Han Geng didn’t have with Super Junior. He was always busy – performing, promoting; filming – and the stress and strain had taken its toll. Han Geng knew when his health had begun to decline and he knew that he could not owe anything to the company that made him ill. 

_True, though the imprint is deep in me, it will always be up to me, up to me…_

So he filed a lawsuit to leave the company. Their label-mates from Dong Bang Shin Ki had done it; why not him? There were winds of change in Super Junior anyway. Kibum went on hiatus to pursue his own happiness in acting. Kangin’s misconducts had gotten him suspended from Super Junior’s activities and was now bound for the army. It hurt Han Geng to add salt to the wound being felt by his former members and their fans, but it had to be done. They all knew it had to be done.

_Oh, ooh oh… Free at last… Whoa, oh ooh…_

The ongoing lawsuit didn’t stop Han Geng from working. He released his solo album. He performed on music shows. He went to award shows. He was showered with love by the Chinese public and his Gengfans. His life didn’t stop. It couldn’t stop.  
“Han Geng! How do you feel about the Korean court’s ruling in your favor?”  
“I think I’ll leave that to my lawyers to handle.”  
In China, Han Geng let himself smile.

_Free at last~!_


	4. Rumour Has It - Sihanchul

“ _You made my heart melt but I’m cold to the core…_ ” – Adele 

Rumors, Kim Heechul decided, were the worst thing that humans could spread.  


Rumors were evil transformed into spoken word. Nothing could hurt more than a rumor. One slip of the lip could destroy a relationship, ruin an image, or tear apart a family. As an idol, Heechul had been the subject of rumors but he never thought much of it before. It was only when he heard rumors about his fellow members did he get up at arms. But lately, the rumors he heard just hurt him.  


When he read online that Hankyung – his Hannie – had been spotted going on vacations with Chinese actresses, Heechul initially scoffed. Hannie loved him. This was clearly some nonsense started by hateful people. But when new articles kept popping up Heechul couldn’t deny the hollowness he felt in his chest as his eyes danced over every letter. He felt betrayed. He felt dirty. He loved this man possibly more than himself – a huge feat for a narcissist – and this man had left him without a word and was now cozying up to some girl who wasn’t even pretty! Heechul couldn’t find the strength in the midst of his depression to be enraged.  


The other members were attentive to Heechul. They kept him company even when he didn’t want it and took care of him even when Heechul was comfortable with the idea of dying in his sleep. Siwon became a close companion to Heechul. The pair had usually gotten along though Heechul got short-tempered when all Siwon wanted to talk about was his Jesus. But during the depression, Siwon never brought up the idea that believing in God would lift Heechul’s pain. The Christian man simply sat with Heechul and they made small talk. Heechul knew that Siwon missed Hankyung too; the men were like brothers. So they commiserated together, sharing their pain quietly as they waited for it to ease.

Heechul was in a rage. Siwon tried to make himself solid enough to withstand Heechul’s anger.  


“What gives that bastard the right to say those things? Who does he think he is? Just because he got himself off the ground doesn’t mean he can talk about us anymore! He abandoned us!” Heechul seized a book from his bedside table and hurled it across the room. It landed in his closet, scaring the cat from its hiding place. “How dare he say he misses us? He has no right!” Heechul grabbed a mug and sent it shattering against the hardwood floor. “He. Has. No. Right!”  


Siwon gently pulled another book – the next potential projectile— from Heechul’s grasp. “Heechul-hyung, calm down.”  


“Calm down?” Heechul screeched. “How can you tell me to calm down?”  


“Hankyung-hyung didn’t mean to hurt us like this. Those rumors are probably just rumors. Heechul-hyung, we can’t be mad at him forever.” Siwon said gently. “We miss him. And he says he misses us. What’s wrong with that?”  


“But you got to see him, Siwon. You did. But I didn’t. I haven’t. He left without a word but you got to see him in China. I’ve been waiting here for his stupid ass.” Tears began to spout from Heechul’s eyes. “It isn’t fair.”  


Siwon wiped away Heechul’s tears. “Hyung, it’s going to be okay.”  


Heechul hugged Siwon and cried, hoping somewhere that the fangirls would spread their own rumors about Heechul’s love life. He hoped Hannie would see. And he prayed to Siwon’s God it would hurt him.


	5. Hey, Soul Sister - Zhoury

“ _I knew I wouldn’t forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind…_ ” – Train 

Zhou Mi and Henry shared something that the other members of Super Junior didn’t. The two were constantly reminded they were only part of Super Junior M, not the full group. They only participated in the Chinese market activities. They had to sit and watch the full group perform on Korean music shows and win awards. They couldn’t be a part of that. This adversity brought them closer together, so in a way Zhou Mi was grateful.  


Zhou Mi and Henry spent a lot of their off-time together. Zhou Mi liked to shop and Henry liked to play his instruments. Henry hated shopping, but Zhou Mi loved to watch Henry. Whether he was mesmerizing crowds with his violin or strumming it like a small guitar, releasing sonatas as he placed his fingertips to ivory piano keys, or playing his actual guitar in front of a camera, Henry looked happiest making music. Zhou Mi loved to watch his chubby cheeked lover toying with his instruments, joy evident as he played merry tunes on whichever one.  


“Mimi _gege_ ,” Henry gushed. “I want to play you something.”  


Zhou Mi smiled. “What are you going to play me Henry?”  


“It’s an English song, but I think you’ll understand it.” Henry pulled the strap of his guitar over his shoulder. The maknae strummed a few times before smiling wide. “I hope you like it, Mimi!”  


Zhou Mi felt his face break out into a huge smile as Henry sang to him. “ _Hey soul sister, ain’t that mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain’t fair you know. Hey soul sister, I don’t wanna miss a single thing you do tonight…_ ” True, Zhou Mi couldn’t make out all of the words, but the emotion in Henry’s voice conveyed it all.  


“Oh Henry, that was beautiful!” Zhou Mi wrapped his arms around the younger boy.  


“Really _gege_? Thank you.”  


“Oh Mochi, you’re so cute.” Zhou Mi pinched one of Henry’s cheeks. “I’m so lucky to have you.”  


Henry tilted his head up to merge his lips against Zhou Mi’s. So what if they weren’t accepted as “full” members of Super Junior? They had each other, and in these moments, that was all that mattered.


	6. Zydrate Anatomy - Yewook

“ _Drug market, sub market, sometimes I wonder why I ever got in…_ ” – Repo! 

“Come on, kid!”  


His lungs screamed in protest, but Kim Jongwoon kept his legs moving. He felt like his arm would be ripped out of its socket because of the man pulling on his arm. This wasn’t, Jongwoon decided, what he wanted to happen the night he scaled the wall outside his bedroom window. This wasn’t how he planned to spend his one night of freedom in the outdoor world: fleeing from the police with a drug dealer.  


Yet that was the position Jongwoon found himself in that night. The other man finally forcibly pulled them off the main road they were running on and into an alleyway. He put his hand over Jongwoon’s mouth and held him still until they heard the steps of the pursuing police officers fade. Finally, when all was still the hand was removed.  


“What are you?” Jongwoon sputtered, scrambling away from the other man. “Why are the police chasing you?”  


“They call me the Graverobber. And who might you be? Why were you in the drug section?”  


“I didn’t know it was a drug section! I was just walking!”  


“Sure, because kids your age don’t know the places to stay away from.”  


“I’m serious! This is my first time really being outside. I had no idea that section even existed.”  


The Graverobber looked skeptical. “How old are you, kid?”  


“Seventeen,” Jongwoon replied. “I have a blood disease. I’m not supposed to be outside.”  


The Graverobber still didn’t look convinced. “Whatever kid, you almost got us both killed.”  


“I’m sorry,” Jongwoon whispered. “But what were you doing in that section?”  


The Graverobber reached into his coat and pulled out a small parcel. He untied it, revealing rows of glowing vials. Jongwoon’s eyes widened at the sight of the shocking blue color. He knew what that was: zydrate. Zydrate was an incredibly potent painkiller developed to assist in surgery. It was highly addictive and illegal zydrate manufacturers had quickly become a problem. How does one create zydrate? Simple. One simply extracts it from decaying corpses with a single syringe. This man was a graverobber. This man sold street zydrate.  


Jongwoon inched even farther away from the man. “I think I should go.”  


“Come with me, kid. We’ll jump on one of the trash trucks.”  


Jongwoon nervously followed the man. Soon enough a truck came rumbling down the street. The Graverobber hopped on with ease and then extended his hand to Jongwoon. Jongwoon took it and pulled himself onto the truck. The truck drove down the empty streets and Jongwoon and the Graverobber rode along in silence.  


As Jongwoon’s home loomed nearer and nearer in the horizon, Jongwoon turned to the other man. “What’s you real name?”  


“Excuse me?”  


“What’s your real name? I’m pretty sure that no one gave you the name Graverobber at birth.”  


The truck came to a halt in front of Jongwoon’s house. He jumped down and turned his eyes back at the Graverobber.  


As the truck groaned to a start, he said simply, “Ryeowook.”


	7. Time to Dance - Kangmin

“ _Here’s the setting: fashion magazines line the walls now, the walls line the bullet holes…_ ” – P!ATD

If anyone were to enter their house, he would be taken aback by the walls. From floor to ceiling, the walls were coated with magazine covers meticulously spaced and glued. A passerby might praise such artistic ingenuity, not even considering what could be hidden underneath those glossy sheets of paper. If one were to carefully peel up an edge, he would be shocked to find chunks of drywall viciously punched in or small bullet holes perforating the plaster. Yes, this house was inhabited by an alcoholic abuser and his lovesick victim.  


Lee Sungmin was eighteen when he met Kim Kangin. Kangin was twenty-one, handsome, and embodied the life of freedom Sungmin wanted. Sungmin fell in love, and fell hard. He moved in with Kangin. He thought they were in love. He never knew Kangin had a problem with alcohol. Kangin promised to never hit him. He swore to never put his hands on the other. Sungmin should’ve figured he was lying.  


The first punch came during a bitter argument. Sungmin was shouting at Kangin for flirting with some person at the bar a few nights ago when Kangin reeled back and slugged his partner. Sungmin hit the ground, crying and clutching a bloody nose. Kangin held him, begged for forgiveness; swore not to do it ever again. But he did it again. And again and again and again and again.  


When Sungmin woke up in the morning his body ached from the relentless abuse. Bruises covered his white skin. Red welts spackled the areas that weren’t black or blue. The small man wore excessively baggy clothes to hide the bruises. He grew his hair out longer so he could hide his melancholy eyes behind the bangs. He hid the damage Kangin did to their house too. He tore of the covers of the magazines and glued them to the walls. Sungmin knew he was hiding. He knew that there was almost no basis for hope. It would be dangerous to leave, but he could do it and get help, couldn’t he? Every time tried to open his suitcase, he was overcome with grief and terror. He fell to his knees and bawled miserably. He lived numbly, accepting that he was trapped.  


Yet Sungmin clung to the scraps of hope he could conjure. Surely if Kangin stopped drinking the larger man would love him again; he would be that wonderful person Sungmin met all those years ago. The alcohol was an excuse, Sungmin knew that. But that excuse was his rock and he held to it like a drowning man. Sungmin knew that somewhere, somewhere dark and hidden and maybe nearly nonexistent, Kangin loved him. Sungmin knew that this twisted fantasy was once beautiful; not everything was a lie.  


As Sungmin lay next to a slumbering Kangin, he looked over at Kangin’s peaceful face. That face was never seen in the waking world. Sungmin smiled a little. To him it was proof enough that a gentle Kangin existed. That the Kangin who punched, kicked, shoved, and roared at him was not the only one. So Sungmin smiled and rested his cheek against Kangin’s shoulder. Tomorrow he would suffer; tomorrow the abusive, evil Kangin would rear his ugly head. But Sungmin prayed for the day Kangin would hold him again and they would be in love again.  


A man is entitled to his dreams.


	8. River Deep, Mountain High

“ _Ooh I love you, my, oh my, river deep, mountain high!_ ” –Glee Cast

Zhou Mi let out a groan of irritation as he stomped out to the kitchen. He and Henry were home alone at the dorm – the other members were out taking in Taiwan’s nightlife — and Zhou Mi, being the good leader that he is, thought he should clean up the dorm. So he employed the reluctant help of his boyfriend. He pushed Henry into the kitchen with a mop and bucket as he went upstairs to straighten out the bedrooms and fold the laundry. He knew Henry listened to music as he worked so he didn’t think much when he heard music beginning to blast from the kitchen. But now, after stacking the piles of clean clothes on each respective clean, freshly made bed Zhou Mi can hear Henry singing along. The Canadian boy is probably not cleaning.  


The song Henry was blasting had a Western big band sound with a driving piano undertone and a pulsing overtone of bass, drums, and brass. The song was English, and the female voices were sensationally powerful. Henry was harmonizing along beautifully, but he was supposed to be mopping, not practicing for his next stage on a variety program.  


Zhou Mi barged into the kitchen to find an apron-clad Henry singing into the handle of his mop. The Canadian looked like he was in the middle of filming a drama as he sang, completely unaware of his surroundings. He swayed his body with the beat, dragging the mop’s wet cloths along the tiled floor. Zhou Mi had already lost the nerve he had to scold the _maknae_ and simply stood in the doorway observing his boyfriend with a smile playing across his lips.  


By the time Henry noticed Zhou Mi watching him, the song was nearing its end. “ _Ooh I love you, my, oh my, river deep, mountain high! If I lost you, would I cry? Oh how I love you baby, baby, baby, baby~_ ” Henry sang, making direct eye contact with his tall boyfriend.  


Zhou Mi smiled wider, mouthing “ _wǒ ài nǐ_ ” at the other.  


The floor didn’t need that much mopping anyway.


	9. I Hate Myself For Loving You/Heat of the Moment - Sihanchul

“ _I wanna walk but I run back to you that’s why I hate myself for loving you…_ ” –Rock of Ages 

Heechul felt as he’d been punched in the gut.  


“Heechul, Heechul-ah, do you recognize me still? It’s Hankyung. It’s Hannie.”  


If there had been anything in his stomach to vomit, Heechul would have regurgitated all over the Chinese man’s shoes. What was he doing here? Questions swam in Heechul’s mind as he stared blankly at his former lover. Hankyung smiled warmly at him and Heechul weakly returned the gesture.  


“Have you been caring for yourself, Heechul-ah? You look a little pale. I’m here working for a few weeks. I wanted to come and see you. How have you been?”  


Hankyung’s glorious, accented words went in one of Heechul’s ears and out the other. The elder felt dizzy; his stomach clenched. All of the tears and agony he was enduring were threatening to explode from his body. Hurricane Heechul was brewing just beneath the surface and Heechul was trying to squash his raging emotions.  


_He looks healthy_ , Heechul thought. _That’s what you wanted, right? For Hannie to get better, for Hannie to smile like he used to. Why am I so angry about seeing him?_ Heechul’s stomach turned. _Because he left you. He left you and was photographed with an actress while you were pining for him._  


“How could you do it?” Heechul’s voice came out in a whisper. He repeated the question again and again, his voice becoming stronger and louder each time, until it was an all-out shriek. “HOW COULD YOU DO IT? How could you leave me here all alone, and then go run around with some girl – c’mon Hannie, she isn’t even _pretty_ – and not call or text or anything? How could you abandon? How could you hurt me? How could you treat me like I was nothing?” The tears were beginning to fall from Heechul’s eyes. “How could you just forget about me?”  


“Chullie, I could never forget about you. You know why I had to leave. You know why. That actress is just a friend of mine, no one could ever replace you. You’re Kim Heechul.” Hankyung tried to embrace the crying Korean, but Heechul pushed him away.  


“I can’t take this. I’ve been crying for months, missing your stupid ass. I hate myself. I hate myself for loving you.”  


“Don’t, Heechul.” Hankyung pulled the other man into his arms.  


Heechul cried into Hankyung’s chest. “I’ve tried so hard to get over you, but I can’t. I hate you. I hate myself.” Heechul took a shaky breath. “I’ve missed you every day. Every night I think about what I could’ve done to make you stay. I’m stuck, I’m depressed, and I want to just pretend you never happened to me.”  


Hankyung tilted Heechul’s chin upward and connected their lips. Their kiss said so many things: I love you, I’m sorry, I won’t leave you… I love you, all is forgiven, don’t leave me again…”  


The second their lips reunited, Choi Siwon walked in. The Christian man had been working tirelessly to coax his hyung back into the world of the living. He had found himself growing closer and closer to Heechul. So tonight, when Heechul finally agreed to leave the dorm for the first time in months, Siwon wanted to surprise his hyung with flowers. It was such a simple gesture, but for the depressed Heechul it could mean so much. Yet as Siwon stood dumbstruck, flowers in hand, he realized he was being stupid.  


Heechul was spoken for. And no matter what he or anyone else said, Heechul would always be spoken for. Hankyung had made himself a tidy little niche in Heechul’s heart and no matter where Hankyung was, Heechul would always belong to him.  


The flowers lay abandoned in a trash can that night.  


“That’s why I hate myself for loving you.”


	10. The Corrupt Bargain Fail!Parody (from Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not meant to be taken seriously. I am an ELF. This is in jest. Parodies made with love, not hate!

And now, a parody of the Corrupt Bargain by the members of Super Junior, because your author is a fail and didn’t know what to do with this one…

Do, do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do, do, do do.

Kyuhyun says: We need to find a scheme to keep the anchovy from the leader chair…

Kangin says: If my lover was leader, I should get to be leader too.

Yesung says: I’ll make you leader if you make me head of the floor.

Henry Lau says something in English that none of us can translate.  
Wooh!

Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.

All you educated ELFs, you can talk of leadership.  
But do you really want the anchovy running his own group?  
Ooh!

Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do.  
Do, do, do.  
Do, do, do.  
Do, do, do.  
Do, do, do,

Kyuhyun says: If we steal the fishie, then Hyukjae will surely cave.

Yesung says: You can be leader if you don’t try to take away my pets.

Ryeowook says: You’ll get the fans ‘cause I know how to give good fanservice.

Hankyung said something prescient about this but he was kind of a dick.  
Let’s dance!

Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.  
Do, do, do, do.

You can compromise all you want, he’s still likes watching porn.  
Do you really want SuJu run by a man from Gyeonggi-do?

Kyuhyun!  
The fans are weird!

Ryeowook!  
They all ship Eunhae!

Yesung!  
That’s lame!

Kangin!  
It sucks!

Everybody!  
Eunhyuk’s a total twat!

Kyuhyun!  
Those guys are idiots but it’s Eunhyuk who’s a real threat.

I’m sure Kibum would have an opinion but he’s not here right now.

Eunhyuk is a loser.  
Eunhyuk is a loser.  
Eunhyuk is a loser.  
Eunhyuk is a loser.

(Evil laughter)

Yesung: I LIKE TURTLES!

(Sigh)


End file.
